BURLINGTON – Marvel superhero the Black Panther was recently sighted in Vermont, and one of The Winooski’s reporters was able to catch up to him for a brief interview (pardon us while we catch our breath).
TW: So what brings to you Vermont from the beautiful, and warm, kingdom of Wakanda?
BP: I received a call for assistance from one of my new associates, your local superhero in Vermont.
TW: We have a local superhero in Vermont? How did this escape the keen investigative eye of The Winooski??
BP: He keeps a low profile intentionally, since he represents a very small minority here in this very cold, very white state.
TW: And are you at liberty to say who our local superhero is? The curiosity is killing us.
BP: I cannot tell you his true identity, but in superhero form, he is known as Bagelman, the modern Jewish superhero. In fact, he is right here with me now.
TW: Bagelman, what an honor to meet you! Can you explain how you came to live here in Vermont?
BM: Well, look, I was born in Brooklyn, kind of like Steve Rogers, you know, Captain America.
TW: Yes, I can tell by your accent.
BM: Anyhow, when I saw that Vermont was the place Bernie chose to live—he’s from Brooklyn, too, you know—I figured, if it’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for me.
TW: You do resemble Senator Sanders to some degree.
BM: That’s pure coincidence.
TW: Well this is super exciting to meet two superheroes at once, but can you explain to our readers why T’Challa, the King of Wakanda has been called here? Are we in danger?
BP: No, there is nothing to worry about. Indeed, every year around this time, Bagelman takes a week off to celebrate Passover with his family. After all, it wouldn’t be proper for Bagelman to be active when no leavened bread can be eaten.
BM: So while I’m awff duty, I call on one of my superhero friends to come visit and keep an eye on things. This year, it’s my friend Black Panther. We feel a kinship here in Vermont, ‘coz just like there ain’t many Jews here, there ain’t many black people either. Also, we both have big movie franchises.
TW: You have a big movie franchise?
BM: Oh crap, I wasn’t supposed to say anything about that yet. Don’t print that. But make sure you head to the theaters in 2019 for Avengers: Income Inequality War.
TW: We’ll be sure to check that out. And Black Panther, let me say for all of us Vermonters, that we are honored to have you here for this week, and we all feel plenty safe.
BP: I will do my best to protect everyone while I am here. And as a tribute to my friend, Bagelman, I am changing my name for this week from T’Challa to T’Matzah.