WINOOSKI – Local satire news site The Winooski, which you are currently reading, has been nominated for a fake Pulitzer Prize by Canadian satire site FauxNews Today. The nomination, which is clearly fake, is for our fake news site, possibly creating a double negative, meaning that we really did win a Pulitzer, which we probably should.
Lawyers for The Winooski spent hours pouring through obscure legal tomes and ancient grammar textbooks hoping to find clarity about what happens when a fake site nominates another fake site for a fake version of a real prize. Would there be a triple negative situation, thus reverting the situation back to one in which our site did not win anything? That didn’t seem fair to us, so we dug deeper. Our only hope seemed to be in achieving the rare but powerful quadruple negative.
If a fake site denies that the other fake site nominated them for a fake version of a real award, then there is a chance that this would create such a tear in the fabric of truth that the award might actually materialize in the offices of the fake site. It’s risky, but our lawyers advise us that it is our only real chance to ever win anything.
The Winooski categorically denies that it has been nominated, truly or falsely, for any sort of major journalistic award.
If you need us, we will be over at our desk, casually looking around for nothing in particular.
Image Credits: FauxNews Today.