SOUTH CANADA – Economic concern about the fledgling nation of South Canada seems to have been unfounded, as their tourism industry is reporting record numbers of Vermonters crossing their border in search of beautiful fall foliage. Vermont’s own foliage season has been lackluster this year, due to a number of factors that include warmer weather, a union strike, and poor moral fiber.
”I don’t fully understand it,” said South Canadian Secretary of the Treasury Allan Fletcher, “but for whatever reason, our foliage this year has been simply spectacular. It’s bizzarre. You can look right across our new border wall and see green and brown trees on the other side, but on our side you see brilliant and bold oranges, yellows, and golds.”
The U.S. ban on South Canadians has been relaxed and now does not apply to the reverse issue of Americans traveling to South Canada, so there have been no issues at the border so far. A few Americans were stopped on their way back through, but since they had their papers with them, they were allowed to pass.
”Yeah, it helped that I wasn’t white,” Vermont resident Mohammed Abbasi told reporters. “There was no question at all about if I was from South Canada. But if you are a white person, I think you’re going to get profiled pretty hard at the border. Although I would say that the leaves are worth it.”
A few local white residents are worried about not being able to get back into the country, and so have set up just outside the border wall and are viewing the foliage from the Vermont side of the border.
” I just think it’s safer this way,” said one woman in a lawn chair holding a pumpkin spice mojito. “Plus, I just don’t have that kind of dirt.”