Local Bears Encourage Composting

WAITSFIELD – A group of Mad River Valley bears has come out in support of composting this week, encouraging local residents to collect as much food waste as they can and then leave it in their backyards. Black plastic soil-saver composting bins are recommended by the bears, as well as open-air piles of compost.

A spokesman for the bear group, which is made up of almost all black bears plus one koala bear who is here on a student visa, has issued a statement asking residents to compost large amounts of meat, dairy, fish, and fruit. “We especially like cooked salmon. I mean, the soil especially likes cooked salmon. I misspoke,” she says, correcting herself.

“Don’t listen to the bears!” pleads a representative from the VT Fish & Wildlife Department. “I mean, do compost, but otherwise, ignore them. They are tricking you!”

The bears deny any trickery, and ask that residents not use bear-proof, screw-top composting containers, as they are very bad for the economy.

3 Comments

  1. Oh, please! This story was believable until you suggested that a “koala bear” was part of the group. Everyone knows that koalas are not bears and would not be caught dead associating with black bears, whether or not they had student visas.

    • We here at the Winooski do not feel it is our job or our right to tell animals what species they should identify as.

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