MONTPELIER – Vermont Governor Phil Scott told reporters today that he was unsure whether or not he would sign the marijuana legalization legislation that recently passed the house, as he leaned back in his chair and puffed on a large joint.
“Look man,” he is quoted as saying, “I don’t know man. I mean, like, on the one hand, you’re not supposed to do drugs. But on the other hand…wow, look at my hands! They’re so weird!”
Gov. Scott was asked what meaningful changes the legislation would enact, if signed. He took a long drag, and stated “I don’t know. I’m pretty sure you can, like, just get weed whenever you want, right?” It was pointed out to Gov. Scott that marijuana is currently illegal in the state of Vermont, to which he laughed until he started coughing, and then said “Yeah, right, illegal.” It should be noted that when the governor said the word ‘illegal’ he winked and made air quotes with his fingers.
When pressed for a more definitive answer, Gov. Scott became agitated, asking us why we were asking him all these questions, and then ran from the room, apparently looking for a Twinkie. A decision on the bill is expected from the governor’s office by the end of the month, or whenever he gets around to it.