The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

  • Home
  • Vermont Life
    • Burlington
    • Montpelier
    • Southern Vermont
  • National
  • South Canada
  • Syrup & Cows
  • Contact

South Canada

South Canada Forms Historical Society, Quickly Runs Out of History

March 30, 2018 The Winooski 1

SOUTH CANADA – The newly formed South Canada Historical Society has only been around for a few weeks, but already the fledgling organization has run […]

United States Transfers NATO Membership to South Canada

March 13, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) has a new member, although the number of countries involved has not changed. Despite a recent […]

South Canadian Luge Team Accidentally Wins Bronze Medal in Olympic Skeleton

February 23, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – The members of the South Canadian Olympic luge team are being hailed as heroes after a stunning comeback in PyeongChang this week. […]

South Canadian Fire Department Rescues Cat From Shower

February 20, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – The newly formed fire department of South Canada has successfully completed its first emergency call, retrieving a cat that had become trapped […]

South Canada to Send Team of Lugers to PyeongChang

February 6, 2018 The Winooski 1

SOUTH CANADA – The International Olympic Committee has accepted a last minute bid by South Canada to send a team of lugers to the 2018 […]

Marijuana Shop Opens at South Canadian Border

January 25, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – With the news of Vermont’s legalization of the possession, but not sale, of marijuana this week, the tiny nation of South Canada […]

South Canada Accepts Over 200,000 Salvadoran Refugees From the U.S.

January 10, 2018 The Winooski 1

SOUTH CANADA – The tiny nation of South Canada, located between the borders of Vermont and Quebec, has agreed to take in more than 200,000 […]

South Canada Chooses New Flag

January 4, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA –  after a slight delay, owing to some legal trouble, South Canadian Secretary of the Treasury Alan Fletcher  has finally selected a winner in […]

Suspect Named in Vergennes Bombing; South Canada Cleared

December 29, 2017 The Winooski 0

VERGENNES – Police have named a suspect in the UTC Plant bombing that occurred on December 8th. The explosion was previously thought to be caused […]

Sec. Fletcher Cleared as South Canadian Political Drama Continues

December 21, 2017 The Winooski 1

SOUTH CANADA – New evidence has come to light in the case of the UTC plant bombing.  Despite video footage showing South Canadian secretary of […]

Posts navigation

1 2 3 »

Subscribe to the The Winooski!

Other Places to Find Us

  • View thewinooski’s profile on Facebook
  • View thefakewinooski’s profile on Twitter
  • View thewinooski’s profile on Instagram

Recent Posts

  • Bill McKibben Rides Dolphin Into Space as Species Leaves Earth April 24, 2018
  • South Burlington Sued For Fraud, Forced to Change Name to East Burlington April 23, 2018
  • Syrup & Cows #046 – 4/22/18 April 22, 2018
  • Trump Fires Vermont Poet Laureate Chard deNiord, Replaces Him with NRA Spokeswoman Dana Loesch April 21, 2018
  • Vermonters Form Marijuana Co-op to Circumvent Possession Limits April 20, 2018

Recent Comments

  • The Winooski on Vermont’s Population Continues to Simultaneously Grow and Shrink
  • Liquid Ubiquity on Vermont’s Population Continues to Simultaneously Grow and Shrink
  • The Winooski on OPINION: States’ Rights Are Important on Issues I Don’t Care About
  • Liquid Ubiquity on OPINION: States’ Rights Are Important on Issues I Don’t Care About
  • Liquid Ubiquity on First Night Burlington Rebrands as “Binge Drinking and Vandalism Night”

Back Issues

Copyright © 2018 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes