South Canada to Celebrate First Independence Day Two Months Late

SOUTH CANADA – The nation of South Canada voted to officially secede from the United States on Tuesday, August 8th of 2017, as reported by The Winooski on August 9th of that year. But August 8th has come and gone this year without so much as a mention from the South Canadian government. When pressed on the matter by local historian Dr. Christopher Johnson, President Charlene “Skunk” Bedard admitted that she had simply forgotten about the significant date, but would make it up to the people by declaring October 8th to be “Belatependence Day” in South Canada.

“Shoot! I just forgot, you know,” Bedard told reporters during a hastily called press conference. “Didn’t mean nothing by it, our country is the greatest country in the world, ‘sfar as I’m concerned, and we should celebrate it! Plus October is a better time to be out celebrating anyways. August is too hot. So from now on I delcare two new national holidays. August 8th, and October 8th! We got about a week to get a party set up, right? Where’s Alan? How much dirt can we spend on this?”

Citizens of South Canada reacted very favorably to the news of the double holiday, especially as many of them had also gotten the fourth of Juily off as well, for habitual reasons.

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