Separated-at-birth Twin Candidates Prompt Revote Demand

RUTLAND – Voters have demanded a revote in the Rutland County Senate primary, saying that two of the gray-haired white men running for the office look so much alike that voters had trouble telling them apart.

“I mean, I guess that’s what I should have expected from the Republican Party,” said Miranda Dalyrimple, one of the Rutland County citizens who has filed for the revote. “The Republicans are, of course, the party of old, white men, but I think this is an extreme case. I like Ed Larson, or at least I thought Larson was the gray-haired man always talking about lowering taxes and how oppressive government regulations are. But after the election I found out it was really Terry Williams. I demand a revote.”

To confuse matters further, Larson and Williams are the best of friends. Larson told the Rutland Herald, “Whoever wins is going to take the other out for a beer after.”

Dalyrimple says she’d like to see some proof that the man who is elected state senator is actually the man who represents the county in Montpelier. “Maybe they can get fingerprinted,” she said. “I mean we don’t want to have a Parent Trap situation here, where they switch places without anyone knowing.”

“I’d really prefer at least one candidate who was not a gray-haired white man,” said Bob Smith, another of the citizens asking for a revote. “But, in a Republican primary in Vermont, I guess that’s too much to ask.”

Image Credits: Rutland Herald.

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