Gov. Scott Passes Budget, Glares at It, Keeps Walking

MONTPELIER – Vermont Governor Phil Scott passed the state budget sitting on his desk yesterday, glanced over at it, made what witnesses are calling an “angry face,” and kept right on walking, refusing to even make eye contact with what once was considered a close ally.

Sources inside the statehouse have reported that Gov. Scott has passed the budget in the halls many times over the past few weeks, but refuses to speak to it, or even acknowledge it at all. Despite pressure from friends and political allies, Gov. Scott will not allow any contact with the budget, even going so far as to threaten it physically and warn it to stay away from him.

“I just don’t get it,” the budget said. “I thought we had a pretty good relationship. Yeah, I knew there were some things about myself that I needed to change, and I’m working on it, but this is really extreme. Every time he passes me it’s just icy indifference, verging on contempt. And I’ve talked to his friends! They all agree he’s acting crazy. I asked them what more I could do, and they told me I was doing everything I could. They’re fine with me. I have no idea where to go from here.”

Without a budget, there would be no government at all, meaning Gov. Scott could be feuding himself out of a job. Those closest to him have asked the governor if this silent treatment is really worth it, considering the long-term implications to himself, those around him, and the entire state of Vermont. The only reply given by Gov. Scott on the matter was “It knows what it did.”

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