President Trump Promises to Bring Coal Jobs Back to Vermont

UNDERHILL – Speaking at a recent fundraising event in West Virginia, U.S. President Donald Trump made a promise to the people of Vermont that he would bring coal jobs back to the state. Vermont is one of only two states with no coal-fired generator capacity, the other being Rhode Island, but Trump blasted the state of Rhode Island for not having enough mountains to sustain the type of coal expansion project he is planning.

“Vermont is struggling right now,” he said to supporters,” but I have a plan. It might be the best plan I’ve ever had. Do you know what they call Vermont? The Green Mountain State. Green. Can you believe it? The color of feeling sick to your, you know, that place where food goes, it’s not good. No. Listen. I know, and you probably don’t know, but I know and I’m going to tell you, Vermont used to be called the Black Mountain State, and there were beautiful coal mines everywhere, jobs were good, people were good, and now, there’s no coal. You know who else doesn’t have coal? Rhode Island. But they don’t have the mountains you need for coal. Very stupid state, should have put in some mountains a long time ago, and now it’s too late. But West Virginia, I’m telling you right now, I promised to bring back coal jobs. Has it worked out here? You know, a little bit. We’ve added a few jobs. As many as I promised? I’m not going to say no. I’m going to say, not yet, because we do have those jobs for you. But you’re going to have to move to Vermont. I have a place in Underhill, perfect name for a coal community, and we’re going to dig into the side of the biggest mountain in Vermont, and I guarantee, and this is a guarantee, we’re going to find coal there.”

Some West Virginia residents were concerned about the potential move north, wondering who was going to pay for the expense. Others were happy at the thought of going somewhere that promised economic stability and new mountains with fewer holes in them.

The state of Vermont has issued a statement claiming that there are no coal reserves in the state, but the White House quickly declared this “fake news” and urged West Virginians to relocate to Vermont as soon as possible, hopefully in time to vote in the 2018 midterm elections.

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