Vermont GOP Stands Behind Roy Moore, Because That’s the Non-Penis Side

DANVILLE – Vermont Republican National Committeewoman Suzanne Butterfield has made a statement of support for accused pedophile Roy Moore in the special election that will determine the fate of a vacant Alabama Senate seat. Butterfield says that she will stand behind Moore, due to safety concerns on the front side of him.

“All of these lies you’re hearing are not factual,” Butterfield told the press yesterday. “Roy Moore will be elected, and he will serve, and I will stand behind him. We should all stand behind him. Way behind him. I wouldn’t really stand in front of him. That’s where his penis is.”

Butterfield insisted that her reluctance to stand near Moore’s penis was purely out of respect for the man’s personal boundaries, and had nothing to do with the sexual smear campaign deviously concocted by everyone that knows him personally.

“I think we’ll let the people of Alabama decide what to do about Roy Moore,” Butterfield said. “And if they are concerned about their future, I would advise them to get behind Roy Moore immediately. And stay behind him.”

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