Vermonters No Longer Required to Pay Federal Taxes

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an unusual case of a major tax reform bill being pushed through Congress before anyone could read it, many Americans are now waking up to find that there are many partially legible surprises scribbled into the margins of the bill that will have have huge consequences for the country. One possibly unintended result is that Vermont no longer has to pay taxes to the federal government.

The confusion came about when an unknown individual made an amendment to an early page of the document in pencil, written on a post-it note that was stuck just below the paragraph that defined the parties to whom the bill will apply.  The bill should have applied to all individuals and businesses that pay tax in America, but below that definition someone wrote two words. Some are claiming that the two words are “except Trump,” but the hand writing is too illegible to be sure. What was entered into the public record is that the two words read “except Vermont.”

This bombshell revelation means that the state of Vermont and its residents will no longer have to pay any taxes to the federal government unless the bill is repealed, or a new bill is passed to replace it.  This scenario seems unlikely, as it was very difficult to get this bill passed in the first place, and also the fact that this new information makes it probable that the representatives and senators from Vermont will be very unlikely to side with a repeal or replace option for the bill.

Other accidental amendments that resulted from the bad last minute hand writing include a new ban on muslin, and the repeal of all taxes for carp raisins.

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