SOUTH CANADA – Sources close to Vermont Governor Phil Scott say that he is considering making a strong statement to South Canada after a recent troop build-up at the Vermont-South Canadian border. South Canada has increased its military spending by more than one hundred percent over the last week, and there have been reports of missile testing visible from Montgomery. U.S.-South Canada relations have historically been rocky ever since the former town of Richford, VT seceded this past summer, but there have been no formal hostilities between the two nations.
South Canadian President Charlene “Skunk” Bedard has stressed the importance of security for the small, landlocked country, and this is reflected in her new budget, which was approved by the South Canadian Congress earlier this month.
“Ayup,” said South Canadian Secretary of Defense Brad Wetherby. “We doubled up the troops. Used to be just me and Jim over there. Now we got Hank and Alice too. Somebody’s got to keep those Trumpskis out of the latest nation on earth. Oh, sorry, Trumpskis is what we call people from America up here. It’s a South Canadian thing. You wouldn’t get it.”
Wetherby has been seen recently marching along South Richford Road south of Phister Road with up to three other soldiers. When asked about possible missile testing, he confirmed recent launches, although pledged that they were not in any way threatening to the United States.
“Oh, that? S***. That was just me showing Hank how to fire off our new cloudbuster missiles. But we weren’t pointing them at America or nothing. Did people see that in Montgomery? Man, Hank is going to get a chuckle about that. Hey, don’t tell Skunk about this, okay? She’ll probably be ticked at me.”
If Governor Scott chooses to release a statement on the military buildup at the border, we will update this article and report further news as it becomes available.
Image Credits: Storem.